USS Relation – Post Mission Dating

Returned Missionaries and Relation Ships

Every missionary has an exit interview with their mission president. It would be safe to say that dating and marriage is one of the topics discussed in every one of these interviews. Along with a report of your stewardship to your president, he usually will talk about the “next step in life.” The Relation Ship.

It is a large ship. One that will likely cost a lot of money, time, stress, and a good piece of your heart, but will be worth getting on. It will likely seem very daunting and be frustrating to get on this ship. It will look so fun from the outside, and you will see a lot of people getting on and off of the “Good Ship Relation.” You will likely find yourself on and off the ship. Okay enough with the dad-joke, I just wanted to have a little fun with this because it is a topic that really should be fun.

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This post is going to be short, but there will be more Relation Ship posts in the future. We will discuss all of the following and more:

  • Your social self (coming from a social-psychological standpoint). It is critical to understand what you believe about yourself and it will help you know how to best interact with others.
  • Finding People. Remember Preach My Gospel chapter 9? Nothing happens on the Relation Ship until you find someone to date! We’ll talk about social opportunity audits and setting up your time so that you can kill a few birds with one stone.
  • Become what you want to Find. If you want the most amazing spouse in the world, BE the most amazing spouse, and then you will attract that person. Intelligence cleaveth to intelligence, light cleaveth unto light, etc.
  • Asking Questions and “Winning with People.” These skills don’t just apply to dating, they are powerful skills to attain and will become an asset to you in all relationships (personal, family and business) in your life.
  • Feeling the Spark Again. For 18 months to 2 years, you were told to put out the fire of twitterpation. If you really turned that off (hopefully you did), it might be a bit of a trick to jump back in the dating pool. These emotions are real, and should at least be acknowledged.
  • True Love.  Advice from prophets on how to really, truly love. Not just a crush-love or the “thrill of the chase” (though these are fun and good). But lasting, deep, enduring love. The type that never faileth.
  • Keep it light and have fun – Turn off the celestial-mate-o-meter for crying out loud! Just become best friends with those you go on dates with. 4 dates doesn’t mean you are going to get married, no matter how much your roommate says so or parents hope so.
  • Love Languages. This is related to your social self. Understand how you feel loved and how the one you want to love wants to feel loved. This can solve a mountain of problems.
  • Communication. As you have likely witnessed in your companionships, communication can make or break a relationship. Companionship inventories can become your best asset in relationships, if done right.
As was mentioned, there will be much more to this. Stay tuned for posts from all the authors here at The Returned Missionary. And feel free to ask questions about things you may be wondering about.
Also, see this post for a great love story of a returned missionary.




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